Sleepless Nights

After about two hours of taking turns rocking and soothing, we finally have Jada down for the night. Well, not really. Two hours later, the first cries crush our hopes for waking up when we're rested. More rocking, more soothing. Back to sleep. Then we may have just one more wake up call at 2 a.m. or 3 a.m., but sometimes it's a few more, and sometimes it takes an hour or two before she's back to bed. When morning comes, I find myself figuring out how many hours of actual sleep time I've had, wondering if it will be enough to be coherent that day. Advice has abounded on how we can secure ourselves some more slumber, but perhaps the best advice that we have received has had less to do with catching more z's and more to do with counting up blessings. In my wakeful moments, I start counting, and as the list grows longer and longer each night, I grow more and more thankful each day. Lord, help us to keep counting and to keep fixing our eyes on You.

Future Hopes

My weekly strolls through the retirement center with the girls have given me great cause for reflection and some time to forge my own hopes for the future. I hope not to live in one. I hope to never be labeled "retired." I hope my last years are filled with the joy of giving gifts and sowing seeds and bearing fruit. I hope my children will wonder if I'm going to have time to come to see them instead of my wondering if they'll have time to come to see me. I hope I'm given the grace not to complain about all that ails me but instead to count my blessings and give glory to God. "So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come." (Psalm 71:18)

Spurred On

The delivery driver pulled up just as I sat down on the front porch to read Adopted for Life by Russell Moore. "What are you reading?" he asked as he approached. I explained that the author compares God's adoption of His children with that of Christians adopting children, and thus began an hour long conversation. The excitement of being able to share with someone what Christ has done for me can not be compared with any other joy I've ever known, and as I am often home now, I miss being out and meeting people. But on this day, the Lord brought one to me, encouraging my heart, refreshing my soul, and spurring me on to love and good deeds. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be a part of Your story. What a beautiful story it is!

Character Flawed

I've been contemplating the clause "out of character." We often say it when we see someone behave in a way that doesn't seem consistent with what seems usual to us. Most likely they've done something that we would deem inappropriate or bad. "That sudden outburst was out of character for him." But, is anything really out of character for us as Christians? We are wretched creatures, completely dead in our trespasses until God gives us new life. Our default setting is slavery to sin. If we do anything good, it's by grace alone; it's His character that others see, not ours. So, if I'm behaving badly, I'm just back to being me. Lord, transform me! "Behold I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me." (Psalm 51:5)

Seeking Lost

Our neighborhood lies adjacent to a retirement center, and I have been sensing the Lord leading me to stroll the girls over there seeking out ways to serve. So far, we have met Dorothy who was scheduled for cataract surgery the next day, and Ethel who says she's lived there for eleven years and rarely sees children. A friend who works as a physical therapist says that she has patients there who've told her she is the only person that ever comes to visit them. Yet, most likely, these older Americans will soon meet their Maker and face the judgement. They are sinners like the rest of us, in need of a Savior and His saving grace. Lord, send us to Your sheep in the forgotten places.

Pool Time

In the early years of my marriage one of my favorite summer pasttimes was parking myself poolside and working on my tan. Now twenty some odd years later, I have greater goals for my girls than piling up endless hours of pool time. There are other problems with the pool besides the pilfering of precious time, but if we are in a war (and we are are) with a cunning adversary (which he is), our time may be the most important loss in pool play. The Bible bids me to be busy doing good works. Jesus gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession who are zealous for good works. (Titus 2:14) Lord, help us to sense the urgency of the Gospel and to believe that the real joy lies in living it.

Clean Later

Holding two baby rattles in one hand, I quickly answered the door with the other. "Let's make this quick," I was thinking, as I smiled at a neighbor and sister in Christ on the other side of my mess. John had taken Jesse outside, and I was on a frantic mission to straighten up and bring order to our inside world. Though our friend had just come by to drop something off, she began to chat, and then she started to talk about spiritual things. My mind was flying from room to room as she shared some things from her heart. Though I did slow down enough to engage her in the conversation, it occured to me much later that I had never even thought to invite her in. Oh, Lord, help me to put people before projects.