Saturday, June 26, 2010
Can I just get a little time to myself? That's been the whine of my heart. So, John left me at the entrance to the beautiful Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens, as he set out for the children's water play that they so thoughtfully included in their design. I meandered through the gift shop for a while, and then struck out for the Woodland Walk with my Bible in hand. I found a quiet spot in a serene shade garden, and sat down on a bench. Ah, so peaceful. This is what I've been waiting for! After only a few moments of thinking that very thought, it hit me. No, what you have been waiting for over twenty years is to be a mother, and now the Lord has granted your request, and you spend your hours pining for the peaceful days. "It is but one side of a Christian to endeavor to do what pleases God; you must as well endeavor to be pleased with what God does, and so you will come to be a complete Christian when you can do both, and that is the first thing in the excellence of this grace of contentment." Jeremiah Burroughs
Saturday, June 12, 2010
In the middle of the mall. Another meltdown. Screaming, kicking, wailing. Eyes upon us. My friend Becky volunteered to watch Jada and her daughter, Megan, while I took Jesse to the restroom. Then we left our play date early, and I cried most of the way home. I'm not the mother I thought I would be. Picture perfect days with polite and precious children. Me, ever patient and kind. People praising, "such wonderful parenting." Oh, I'd forgotten again about sin, mine and my daughters'. As another of my idols comes crashing down around me, I'm reminded again of just how far I am from being like Jesus and just how desperate I am for His grace.